What will my life actually be like without booze?
It's fair to say this is one of the biggest fears out there that we hear from people who are cutting back or quitting booze - what on earth will my life be like? Will I lose my mates? What will I DO with myself? Will I die of boredom?
Some people figure they will just continue life as before, but simply swap their beer or wine for an alcohol-free (AF) version in the pub, and that can be the case for some.
For others, there is a shaking up of all things across their lives - friendships, social life, meaning, interests - some of which are changes they want and others not so much
I asked the Untox community, particularly those who had a bit of sober time up their sleeve whether things had changed much for them - including whether they had changed - and this is what they said .....
“I am just over a year AF. I love catching up with my “old” friends, some are big drinkers, some very moderate, and a few don’t drink. With the big drinkers, I decide when it’s time for me to leave, usually 4-5hrs is my maximum. If I’ve stopped having fun, it’s time to go, no matter where I am. Sometimes I’m still having fun but I’ve got other obligations and need to go home. I concentrate on enjoyable food and good conversations now. I’ve just left a job that wasn’t fulfilling me anymore. I have so much clarity now, even when someone disappoints me I just don’t get upset anymore. Yes I’ve lost weight, my skin nails and hair are all healthier, I have less pain and inflammation in my body, but it’s so much more than that. I have chosen me and everything that goes with that makes me a better person.”
“Almost 3 years AF. I’ve connected with my inner, authentic self. Lost over 20kgs, exercise regularly, love to get out in nature, try new things (dragon boating, Stand up paddling, art class, meditation, yoga), can now set boundaries, self esteem and confidence has improved, sleep so much better, have changed career and trained as a coach so I can now help others. Love living instead of numbing! “
“The type of person I am now, the skin I'm comfortable in, is totally different to what I anticipated back at Day One. I wouldn't necessarily say I was always a "bad" person as an active drinker, but I was certainly self-absorbed & self-focused, whereas these days I would describe myself as a lot more relaxed, peaceful, compassionate, humble, & thoughtful. Spiritually as a non-drinker I'm more comfortable & happy with myself, I've learned to listen to, trust & act on my intuition, &, most importantly, I'm a much better father. Having been in relationships from the ages of about 25 to 51, I've been single for 5+ years, & I'm perfectly OK with that. I'm not suggesting that "life" has just magically gotten better, because some parts of it are the same, & some parts have gotten worse, but by being alcohol free & clear-headed I'm much better placed to deal with stuff. It's all a work in progress, & always will be, but I'm MUCH more content now than probably at any other time in my life.”
“I haven’t dumped my drinking friends but my focus has definitely shifted. I still see them but I tend to do more morning coffee and breakfast socialising around active stuff like parkrun, tennis, hiking. Loving this sober life.”
“Complete shift for me. I never would have gone running or riding while I was drinking. I prefer dinner over bars because I like food more than lemonade.”
‘I’m much more active and more consistent with exercise. I do heaps more self care activities like float tanks, yoga and massages. I still love going to the pub for dinner and like being around people that are having a few drinks and a good time. I still have as much fun and always sleep well and wake up feeling good. I still see friends that drink but a bit less so because I don’t want to hang out for hours watching them getting pissed.”
“I’m 3 and a half years sober and yes things changed for me in friendships a few disappeared who were just drinking buddies so thats fine and my partner and I broke up as I felt I had outgrown it.I could overlook things in a hazy drunk state but not any more. I’m definitely much more introverted and would not go to bars anymore, but can go to pubs if an event is on. I’m generally just happier with who I am these days. I'm at peace more.”
“9 months af! I think I’m def still in transition so my social group is generally the same but I see them outside of drinking sessions and many have made the effort. I’m absolutely more authentic though and less frightened to let my professional world collide with my social circle, but definitely more introverted than before enjoying lots of early nights and early rises and at peace with that. The at peace thing is definitely growing and probably the most significant shift. I was always kinda searching before for the next thing, every day and now I love the present. Seems to be a common theme amongst us who are AF. Went to the pub today and had 2 soft drinks because one of the biggest and most significant venues in Sydney’s circular quay had zero alcohol free beer options, so bad! And it was fun. Despite that. I was totally ok with being the only non-drinker.”
“I haven’t had a drink for 3 years and at the start things changed big time, I stopped going out as most of my social environment had a huge drinking side to it. After 1 year I decided to re introduce some of the things I loved to do drinking to see if I liked them sober. I found that there were some surprises, like barefoot bowls is still heaps of fun and surprisingly so is going to the rugby. I’ve also found that I won’t do it if it makes me bored. I’m going to have a crack at going to the cricket this summer, that is one I thought would be boring without booze and has been off the fun list since I gave up. The biggest change is my mental capacity and ability to learn complex things and of course commit time to things e.g. no hangovers - over 50 days per year not wasted for me.”
“I was a secret drinker so spent about 35 years self isolating so I could keep drinking. Very little socialing and even less friendships.
Since getting sober and doing rehab I have learnt skills that have allowed me grow a hobby into a NFP business.
Finding Untoxicated allowed me to socialize with like minded creatures for the first time in my adult life. I gain enough confidence to host Meetup events and even start my own Meetup group.
Getting sober has allowed me to connect with people and have a life worth living!”
Our Untoxicated FB closed support group is an awesome supportive safe space, check it out: https://www.facebook.com/groups/untoxicatedaus and check out other resources that might help you here: https://untoxicated.com.au/need-help. It is advised you seek medical advice before quitting alcohol.